Indecision

So much depends upon indecision
while
the wind winds my hair around my head
like a poor man’s crown
at once devastating and
forgotten

I lie
Tattered beyond recognition
Beside his bed
While the sky remains
Cobwebbed with night
Skittering across my life
And reminding me of his absence

He is tangled in my hair
Passing for a stranger in the car behind mine
Driving down Harlem at night

He is every white sports car I see
Found his way into my students faces
And ruined me

I no more want him inside me
Then he wanted what he put inside of me
But he is inextricably bound
To my indecision

I am to much bound to him
To much a part of his heart
To ever let him go